1963 - Where do you go? - Charles' cell.

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[ Shaw already gave him the news. Told him every sordid little detail. Even gave him a number of casualties that had been made in Erik's name so far, acting like a giddy schoolgirl that got her wish. Charles of course shook it off at first - there was no possible way - and he knew, he would ask Erik whenever they were permitted to see one another that afternoon. The morning brings with it a dose of the serum, and Charles is calm enough as Erik is lead into the room, sitting with him.

They used to use this time to remember how the other person felt beneath their fingertips. They used to kiss, long, sweet and gentle. Charles used to slide on top of Erik, sometimes slip down to his knees, sometimes do whatever he could do to keep that physical connection considering their mental connection had all but been frayed away.

Right now, however, Charles is having difficulty looking the other man in the eye. When he finally does, it slips out. ]

What have you been doing the last few months? When you leave here, for elsewhere, where do you go? What do you do?

[ If he could read his mind he'd be able to tell exactly what the other man would do. he would be able to know that Shaw was lying (oh god he hopes he's lying) or at least know Erik wouldn't lie to him. Now, with the serum running through his veins, Charles has no way of verifying if he's right or if he's wrong. ]

Comments

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[ it doesn't take very much for him to snap to anger. ]

It would be one thing entirely if you were telling the truth, Erik! [ he breathes out, knowing he's yelled, knowing that Shaw would probably be off watching them as if it was another episode of his daytime soap opera. ] You're lying to me, straight to my face! I gave you a chance to tell me, and you are lying to me!

[ his face goes stony, eyes boring into Erik's face, trying to get him to face him, truthfully, to actually face him. ] How do I trust you when you're lying to my face, Erik? I love you. [ it hurts to say and he nearly clenches, recoils back from the words. ] I do want you to be honest with me. What I don't want is for you to just continue to be his lapdog. You're better than that and you know it, Erik. You don't have to be his weapon. You can refuse.

[cointossing]

[Erik can't really recall a time when Charles had yelled at him like that, when he'd made the other so angry. He doesn't think he ever has. And he knows now, too, that the lie is pointless. Charles knows the truth.]

Alright, Charles. I'm a monster, a murderer. I don't have a choice. Is that what you want to hear? Are you pleased now? [He turns around, eyes livid.] Why do you have to know everything? Why should I tell you about the things I have to do? I can't refuse him anything!

[His voice is shaking now, and it's a good thing there is no metal around, because he knows that it'd be trembling with all the sadness and the rage he feels just now. Perhaps something worse than that might happen, too. Something might've gone flying, might've hurt the guard outside. Erik refuses to think he could hurt Charles, not physically anyway.

Mentally, however, that's a different story. Erik seems to have become good at hurting Charles that way, he again he hates himself for it. His fists clench, and it's like there's a coil wrapped around his heart now.] I can't refuse. Don't you understand? Don't you know what he'll do to you, to your sister, to Hank and Sean and Alex? I saved your lives by offering myself to him.

I'm trying to protect you. And you don't trust me. [Until the time comes when he can kill Shaw.]

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You're giving me no reason to trust you!

[ he breathes out and then stands, suddenly, angrily. ] You're making him SO very happy, Erik, by being exactly what he asks of you! He tells you to jump, you say how high. He tells you to kill someone and you do it gladly! What happens when he starts asking you to kill people closer to us, Erik?

[ he shakes his head. ] What happens when he tells you to kill Raven? Raven, or Alex, or Sean? What happens when that psychopath orders you to kill me? Are you just going to be his good little pet, kill off the people most important to you?

[ he shoves away from the table, turning his back onto Erik. ] Leave, Erik. I don't want to look at you right now. You're not protecting us, you're murdering for our sake. You'd rather make that man happy than protect the ones you love the most, protect your values you hold dear. You're nothing better than the men that you hated when you were young. Just following orders blindly.

[cointossing]

[Erik can only stare at him, watching as Charles turns on him just as he knew he would. Charles doesn't come to him and wrap his arms around him, doesn't try to offer him encouragement to change him and take him down the right path. No, whatever Shaw's done to him down here, taking his powers from him, it's clearly taken its toll.

And even if it hadn't, Erik isn't sure Charles still wouldn't hate him. It hurts more than he can bare, that Charles thinks he would ever kill him, or Raven or the others, when he's only doing this to protect them.

« Sorry, Charles. I love you. Goodbye. » He knows the thought will never reach him, and perhaps it's better that it doesn't. Charles must hate him, and maybe that's better, too. At least he'll be alive in the end, and Erik would rather that than the alternative.

So he turns and leaves the room in silence, trying to ignore the hole that's slowly opening in his heart where Charles' love for him has once made its home.

He isn't sure if he'll come back, not until Shaw is dead. And maybe not even then, maybe he'll just send someone to free Charles so he can leave.]